Good evening champs! I spent yet another day tied to my laptop with anxiety. If I am being honest, I'm overcompensating for the fact that I got laid off a week and a half ago.
Let's dive in a little deeper.
I'm not new to being laid off or contracts ending. I've worked as a freelancer/independent contractor for the last two years. Throughout this time, I've worked solely with small businesses and startups. There's something about the culture that really makes you feel like family... like you're more than a warm body on the floor generating money. Your voice matters. Your opinions and ideas are heard and sometimes executed to a tee. It's quite thrilling! On the downside, there's a lack of budget and resources. I've come to terms with that. I've been laid off before, it's nothing new, yet for some reason, this hit harder than usual.
I chalk it up to a few reasons. The biggest: for the first time since I've moved to Los Angeles, my finances have been in a spot where I'm comfortable branching out on my own and creating a home. I'm not dramatic enough to think it still can't happen, I'm wise enough to know the dream has to be put on hold until I can obtain another big gig.
Hence, the nonstop computer work. Between pitching publications, applying for full-time jobs and launching We Are Phenomenal, it's rare I let my eyes leave the screen. I've reached a point where I feel guilty lounging around. What the hell is wrong with me?
I know getting laid off is a blessing in disguise, that this is simply a step back before I take a lunge forward. It doesn't make it suck any less though. And yeah, that's enough dwelling for the night. I'd like to write something more profound or raw.
Who is ready for a little wild writing?
It the midst of chaos and sadness,
it's easy to drown out gratitude.
It's easier to get lost in the downward spiral
and neglect the journey you've taken
to be exactly where you are.
It's effortless, honestly.
Because overcoming obstacles
and facing your demons
It asks for self-reflection
to be broken and imperfect.
Silence your ego for a moment.
Stop comparing yourself to those around you.
Recognize that you're journey is yours
and yours alone.
List off the reason you're grateful
to be where you are.
What have you accomplished?
Examine the pits and downfalls.
How have you grown?
What have you learned?
How far have you come?
That's all folks! Keep on keepin' on.