Memoir in the Making

Well hello champs! I am going to share an excerpt or two from the memoir I am currently working on. I suppose the first thing to do would be to provide a little more information on said memoir though, huh?

One night at a dinner in Bali with the gang, someone asked why I have “The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return” tattooed on my arm. The answer has always been quite simple really. When I was ten or eleven years old, my cousin showed me the film Moulin Rouge and I never lost my love for its magic. The film overall is stupendous, but the quote itself has always resonated more with me. I went on to explain my views on love/relationships and how watching my parents’ storybook romance in turn affected my own romantic relationships. Upon completion of my spiel, my friend/fellow writer told me I had to share my story with the world. I sat with it a few days, asked a few homies and some strangers if this would be a book worth picking up and I received beyond marvelous feedback.

So here I am, writing a memoir on love and dating. I plan to write the memoir over the course of five to ten years just kind of based on where life takes me. After all, I am still young and there is a world of adventure and love out there that I have yet to experience. I currently have enough content to create the first three chapters and I am kind of stoked (and scared shitless) to share my personal experiences with the world. The names of the men I have dated have of course been changed out of respect and to protect the innocent (no I am kidding...). However, the content is very much true. Some of the information has been lifted from journals/poetry and others are produced from raw memory. Sometimes just writing down a few basic details or looking at an old picture can cause the entire memory to play in my head.

Now I am ready to share the good shit with you guys. Please be gentle! The content is not set in stone and will most likely be revised throughout time. 

"We spent many nights together, trading off places. Although, mornings at your place were always my favorite because of how the light slowly filled the room as the sun would rise. I remember rolling over every morning to your adorable and goofy face, hidden beneath your beard and tucked away under the sheets. Whenever I would scooch too close to your face, you would immediately place the sheet over your mouth and shake your head no. You feared your morning breath would have me run for the hills and sometimes I was too much of a morning person for you to hang. Yet every morning began the same. You would open your arms and I would slide on over; tangled within one another, our days began with slow chatter until we had to get up and greet the world. It was our escape from reality; it was safety and it felt like home." 

"I remember the exact moment I fell in love with you; even after all this time I can play the memory back in my mind like a film rolling onto the projection screen. We were cruising down the highway for our weekday getaway, with Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes playing in the background; my hand intertwined with yours and my head laid upon your shoulder. There was nothing but you, me and the open road ahead of us for miles. The sun began to set ahead of us and somewhere along the way it hit me like a ton of bricks. An ear to ear grin rose on my face, my heart warmed within my chest and I thought to myself, I could do this forever with you. Then a tangent of thoughts rolled across my mind. I could venture across the country (which would become reality months later) and around the world. Our relationship would be filled to the rim with adventure because it ran deep within our souls. 
I did not muster up the courage to tell you for another two months because I felt it was too soon. I told you one random night when we were lying in bed and you looked at me a little different. I could read in your eyes that there was something you were dying to say but could not quite form the words.  Out of nowhere, “I love you” left your lips before it even had a chance to leave mine. "

"One night in December, the dynamic in our relationship shifted. We decided to meet halfway in between where we both lived; driving the full distance was not plausible in the moment. I parked my car and stepped inside yours. The tone was set and I could feel my heart break before the words even began to leave your lips. I avoided any and all eye contact. I could not move. I just stared ahead completely bewildered at what was happening. Then I heard the crack in your voice as you continued to speak. My heart plummeted within my chest and that was the first time I glanced over at you. There were tears swelling up in your eyes and I shifted my position to gently brush them away. I placed my hands around your face and just stared at you for a moment. I could not fully comprehend why this was happening; if the break up was causing you so much pain than why did it need to happen at all. It hit a point where I had nothing left to say and I reached for the door handle. You asked me to say something, but I physically could not form words. I finally stepped out, strolled on over to my car and collapsed in the front seat. A few moments later, you walked over and tapped on my window."


To read more, you’re just going to have to stay tuned! I will release a few here and there throughout time. There are a lot of nitty gritty details and racks on racks of cheese because I am beyond corny; there are also rough realities and real heartaches. My goal for this memoir is to write it with my wacky sense of  humor and raw vulnerability; to provide vivid details and imagery so the reader can transcend into the moment. Yes, I know I am aiming high and that’s because I am passionate about this project. So yeah kids, feel free to leave a comment below with your feedback. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear it!

Casha DoemlandComment