Excerpts From A Memior

Good morning champs, June gloom strikes again this morning and it has me curled up in bed. I have an urge to hike because I would love to spend the morning with mother nature, but I also know I will be encompassed by her beauty all day tomorrow.  So I may just settle for a stroll around the ole lake once I complete this post. 

Today I would like to share excerpts from a memoir I may never finish, ha. 

The first time I fell in love was with a man who was tender, soft-spoken and whose laughter soothed the darkest storms within my soul. He was a musician in passion but brewed coffee to fund the bills. We met one rainy day in April five years ago over a cup of joe and I still remember our first conversation vividly. Things between us moved at a rapid rate, as most relationships I often experience do and we would more nights together than apart in the beginning. One of my fondest memories is the week we escaped to a cabin and I read you my poetry, which was a first for me. Something about your presence always calmed me down, from the moment we met you felt like home. We had no intentions of falling in love with one another and the timing of our relationship simply wasn’t right. You experienced a bout of depression and I tried my best to be there for you, but I eventually broke. You wished to be alone for weeks at a time and I needed just a little bit to know that you were okay. You were the first person who taught me how to love and you have inspired some of my greatest work. 

We had difficultly parting from one another for the course of a year and a half as the breaks never seemed to last because we always fell back into one another. It was not until we met other people did we finally learn to let go.  My friend swears you are the one for me, simply by the way you look at me when I'm not paying attention as if pure love emits endlessly from your gaze

 We met one random night over a year ago prior to my move to California over a beer and we opened up to each other one last time. In that brief encounter, it felt as if no time at all has passed between us; as if the love and the connection we felt for one another so many years ago was still present. 
You, my sweet, sweet darling, will always be important to me. A place in my heart you will forever stay. 

Part II

The second time I fell in love was with a man who was adventurous, brave and had a smile that simply drove me wild, especially when it hit ear to ear. He was a break dancer in passion but crafted surfboards for cash. The first time we met, you greeted me with a dozen pink roses and that fucking grin. I was hooked. Our relationship was unlike anything I could have possibly imaged. You pushed me to face my fears and not one dull moment lay between us. I had one of my greatest adventures to date with you and it remains a fond memory; it was the moment we hit our peak.  We didn’t have the type of love that would stand the test of time, rather we were a lesson the other desperately needed to learn - love is possible after the first one breaks your heart. Things between us weren’t always great, we were experts at digging underneath each other’s skin. Yet we bonded over camping trips to the desert and binge watching Netflix. We were each other’s home away from home. 

Despite all the shit I experienced with you, I am grateful and privileged to have met you and to have loved you. I would not be the woman I am today without you. You’ve got a heart of gold concealed beneath a world of agony and pain sweetness. I hope one day you find the courage to face your demons, because the moment you do, your life will forever change. 

Welp, that's all folks. Keep on keepin' on!
 

Casha DoemlandComment