Do I Show You Love

Good morning champs! I hope all is groovy on this beaut of a Thursday. 

With inspiration striking me at random last night, I penned a free form poem titled Did I Show You Love . I made no edits to the poem, it is raw and unedited. I chose to use very little punctuation and no capitalization so excuse all the little errors in grammar you come across. I sort of wanted the poem to flow as if I were reading it aloud. 

Enjoy!

Did I Show You Love

you entered my life during a period of reckless encounters. 
when i spent more nights running around the city
than i did taking the time to fill the void in my heart the day he left.
yet, the more i take the time to reflect, 
the more i realize the role we played in one another’s lives. 
he and i were merely stepping stones to something greater. 
still, the damage remains. 

i am not as soft as i once was. 
i am not as giving of my love as i once was. 
i am not as patient.
i am hardened by the heartache, 
but i am stronger.

i speak my mind with you, 
(to the best of my ability)
even if it doesn’t appear to be true to you. 
communication is not my strong suit in relationships,
(it wouldn’t be yours either if someone
had silenced you endlessly in the past)

do you know how it feels to told
“i fell out of the love the moment you lost your smile.”
i never lost it for long,
but i struggled in ways most individuals in their
young 20s do. 
do you know how it feels to be told
“there’s too much of you to love”
because someone cannot understand your complexities.

i am emotional
sensitive
a walking contradiction
and at times needy.
yet i am learning,
growing
and transforming.

once upon a time, 
i supplied love like it was oxygen. 
yet now, 
i’m hesitant.
because you speak the promises i’ve heard before
and state you’re different,
but time is the only true judge.

i sometimes wonder how long
until this one realizes the effort it takes to love me
is not worth the energy exerted. 
can you imagine feeling that? 
to keep your thoughts at bay,
the words resting on the tip of your tongue,
restlessly and desperately waiting to jump,
but the fear
of pushing this person away
destroys you.

because the love i feel towards you
is different. 
it’s stronger. 
it’s matured. 
it’s wildly overwhelming
and sometimes brings tears to my eyes.
it’s genuine.

and you,
you're compassionate,
passionate,
driven,
and kind. 
truth be told,
that only scares me more
because losing you
will shatter the world beneath my feet
and create irrecoverable damage.

because for the first time,
i see a love that will last.
because i want a future with you. 
because i love you
and the way you make me laugh
and how your arms feel like home
because in your presence
i feel safe,
calm.
because you're unlike anyone
i've ever met
and i am privileged to be loved by you.

 

So, there it is. Please be gentle!

Keep on keepin' on champs!