Connectedness

Good afternoon champs, it looks like a beautiful day as the sun is finally saying hello. I've got to tell you, the June Gloom is real, especially when you live in Southern California. However, it didn't make me crave being outdoors as much. When you work on the top floor of a building that overlooks blue skies and LA hillsides, it's a giant tease. I 100% would rather be hiking the infamous Runyon than chilling in an air conditioned coworking space. Before you get it twisted, I enjoy my job and the company is 10/10 would recommend, I've just had this all-consuming urge to get out of LA. 

So to feed the urge, I will go hiking in Malibu before work on Friday and if all goes according to plan, I will have a mini solo road trip on Sunday. I don't have the time for a longer escape until the first weekend in July. Oh well, I will definitely take whatever I can get. 

With that off rant off my chest, I've got to come clean about something else. I have only pitched one publication when I should have pitched 4 by now. Pitching, when done right, is time-consuming.  In order to remain sane, I may drop back to one a week or fully pursue pitching at the end of my 30 days.  When you work a 10-6 during the week and are dedicating your evenings to blogging and personal writing, it leaves little brain space to pitch. So, I am going to take it all one step at a time instead of trying to jump straight to the top. I am still committed to my craft and to my goals, but I found myself half-assing things just to get them done. I was overrun with stress and if you read Stress Ball, it was impacting my personal life and my well being. Phew, that feels good to type, haha. 

Now, it's time to dive into day 9 of blogging folks. 

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend about the disconnectedness of a relationship. Prior to this conversation, I never put much thought to it. I always thought when an individual had felt disconnected, the relationship had run its course, which is a huge contradiction in my own personal belief system. Yet, the more she spoke openly about her situation, the more I learned. Thinking back on past relationships, I've had a disconnect, especially in my previous one where distance played a large role. Yet, I did my best to fight through the feeling because I knew the moment we were reunited, all the negativity faded and the love consumed us both. Can you spot the contradiction or maybe it's a little bit of naivety, it's hard to say. When you're the one seeking advice, the answers are not as clear as when you are supplying. 

A few weeks ago I felt a small disconnect from my current boyfriend. We are both pursuing our dreams and working an insane amount, so there are weeks where we hardly speak or see one another. I know, it's hard to believe considering how much I post about him on Instagram. Yet, I did, I felt disconnected and I couldn't understand why. I did not speak with him about it until last night, until after the conversation mentioned above with my friend. I explained my concerns and we spoke for a bit, which is honestly my favorite part of our relationship. I live for nights in bed and long car rides where things are simple and the conversation holds value. I want to pick his brain about everything and anything I can come up with in the moment. I don't know, maybe that is why I felt disconnected. We were failing to meet on a spiritual level, or maybe emotional level is the correct term. Don't get me wrong, we were having fun and taking little adventures when we could, but something was still missing. 

So, I spoke with him last night as I said above and the level of connection I feel towards him now is the highest it's ever been. Honestly, I am so grateful for his existence and to have the opportunity to go on this adventure with him. I don't care how cliche it is or corny ha. He checks up on me and does little things like packing my lunch with a tiny post-it note that just warm my heart to the umpteenth degree. Gah, what a hubba hubba dream boat haha. I will stop here before I get too corny, but I thought I would get raw and dirty with you all. 

Keep on keepin' on!

Casha DoemlandComment