274 Days

 The second day on my trip across the country - moments later gas spilled all over me. 

The second day on my trip across the country - moments later gas spilled all over me. 

Good afternoon champs!

It is the perfect day on the sunny side of LA and whoa baby do I feel blessed to call this city my home; which is such a new and odd sensation to me. Los Angeles is my new home! I am officially registered to vote here, my car title and plates have been transferred and I am working gigs and paying bills. Whoa baby! It’s just wild to think of how much I have transformed and grown throughout the short amount of time here and how many rad ass individuals have been introduced to my life.

Now don’t get it twisted, times have not always been easy. I have experienced my fair share of shit and array of emotions as I transition into a new way of living. As I have stated before, there are days where a giant pit of loneliness fills my being and I am incredibly homesick for Georgia. Yet there are days when I know Los Angeles is the bubble of a city where I truly belong; where my weird, extremely open and spiritual freak flag can fly high with pride.  

I found my voice in a city of individuals trying to be heard. I learned to speak my truth and stand my ground, to fight for what I believe in and all along the way I have been supported by these rad individuals I call friends here. I have not been hushed, silenced or shamed, except for a select few who are uncomfortable with the person I have become.

But once again, all is life. As we blossom into the people we are supposed to be, friendships and relationships shift because not everyone is a permanent player in this game we call life. With that being said, I am grateful for every individual I have met, for they have taught me a little about myself or the world. Not be a walking cliché here, but every person you come into contact with helps form the person you are today and I have always had a soft spot for the individuals who show me a glimpse of their soul.

I overcame my fear of flying due to the amount of time in the air I have been privileged to.
I overcame my eating disorder which weighed me down for six years, which is a fucking triumph in itself. So much so that I celebrated it by having a nude photoshoot in the desert and lingerie shoot all over Echo Park and Silver Lake. Yet, I didn’t stop there; I wrote a letter to those offended by my naked body and published it to Instagram.  No shame in my game!

I am gaining real world experience in marketing, public relations and social media and stretching into the freelance world; which is terrifying but also awesome considering I only have an Associate’s Degree in Hospitality. 

I am building friendships and creating a sense of community. While it is small at the moment, it runs deep and I greatly care about the individuals in my life. 

I fell in love with poetry again. 

I found comfort with solitude. I enjoy cruising up highway one by myself, with a mixture of salt water and mountain air filling my nostrils and the melody of the ocean soothing my soul. I have said it once and I will say it again, Big Sur is my heaven and where I want to go to die. I spend afternoons hiking around Los Angeles or escaping to the desert at Joshua Tree. Sometimes my favorite way to spend a Saturday afternoon is laid out at the park with a book of poetry and a journal. 

I am continuing to say yes to things that terrify me and it is forcing me further and further out of my bubble of comfort. 

I am also learning to stick up for myself, which is something I feel like you learn at the age of five but still. I have always had a soft heart and a fear of “confrontation” which led to me becoming a people pleaser 24/7 and that’s just not a way to live; I dedicated my life to those I surrounded myself with and neglected to take care of myself. So I finally grasped the concept that taking care of myself and speaking my peace is totally acceptable. Not to worry though, I still rock the title “Mom of the Squad.” 

Honestly, the journey I have been on the past nine months has been a wild whirlwind of a party and when I look back on it, I am glad I made the decision to uproot my life and trek to the west coast. I have zero idea of where I will be in a year and that’s the best part. I am taking everything as it comes and throwing myself in the direction I choose. And for the first time in my life, it just feels right.

So yeah champs, keep on keepin’ on! 

Casha DoemlandComment